Woman Upset After Mom Invites 30 People to Dad’s Intimate Memorial Gathering

A woman turns to the Reddit community for support after a family event took an unexpected turn, prompting her to set firm boundaries with her mother.

Last year, her parents rented a lakeside cottage where she, her husband, and their three kids spent the day and made cherished memories.

They had “such a great time” that they booked another rental “for a week the following year.”

“We all decided to rent a bigger cottage in my name…this is important,” the woman writes in her Reddit post.

Tragically, her father passed away in December. Described as “a simple man,” he had asked for no service — just cremation and to have his ashes spread at the lake he loved.

After speaking with her mom, they agreed to do a family gathering at the lake in place of a funeral.

“We decided to do family only (with grandkids there’d be 15 of us) for 1 day at the lake to remember dad,” she explains, noting that this included her sister, whom she “barely talks to and has never met [her] kids.”

“Not ideal, but it’s family,” she adds.

But as the week of the rental approached, her mom started planning as if the guest list had doubled. “Turns out she has invited an additional 20 people for this get together,” the poster writes, noting that it was more like “30 people” in the post’s headline.

The woman stressed that the rental is in her name and explicitly states “no events or parties.” Still, her mom seemed unbothered, treating it like a minor detail. “She insisted it wouldn’t be a problem and if someone made a fuss and told the owners she would talk to them and it would be fine,” the woman writes.

One of the unexpected guests is her sister’s boyfriend — a man she has “never met.” What’s more, her mother decided that he would be staying overnight with them at the house. “I’ve got 3 kids (13f/11f/8m) sleeping in this house,” she explains, clearly upset at the lack of consideration.

At that point, she anthem her limit. “I lost it. Said no,” she shares, laying down a boundary her mom refused to respect.

Rather than continuing to argue, she offered a compromise — suggesting they move the gathering elsewhere. “I would be happy to rent a hall and have it there but not at the house,” she tells her mom, hoping to avoid breaking any rules with the rental.

When her mom pushed back again, the woman put it plainly. “I would transfer the rental to her name and she could do what she wants and I’ll take my family somewhere else,” she says, standing firm.

Commenters on Reddit were overwhelmingly supportive of her decision. One user pointed out the seriousness of violating Airbnb rules, writing, “The fine print on the violations of parties is steeper than one would think.”

Another echoed her concerns about consequences. “There are so many rules against having parties at Airbnbs,” the commenter wrote, adding, “She can rent her own place and have her own event.”

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Though grieving may be clouding her mother’s judgment, the woman refused to jeopardize her family’s plans or her standing with the property owner. “Your mom is not thinking straight,” one commenter observed, offering sympathy and validation.

Ultimately, the woman was left asking the community a difficult question: “So AITAH for not letting my mom throw a huge event at a rental house and not letting my estranged sister and her boyfriend stay with us?”