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Grant Ellis, in several incidents, asked serious questions on very common social situations. The big question he put to women was: When you’re alone at a bar or restaurant and a man approaches you but you really don’t want his company and he fails to take the hint, what do you do? It elicited a huge and revealing response from his audience, providing insightful comments about modern-day dating for safety and communication.
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In the clip, Ellis recited the question in the original tone: “Okay, serious question here, right? You’re by yourself for the ladies, right? You’re by yourself. You’re sitting down at a bar at a restaurant, whatever. A guy approaches you and you’re not interested. But he doesn’t get the hint. What do you do? Do you scream for help? Do you walk away? Do you be rude? I don’t know. Let me know.” The exact caption on the post read “Let me know , some guys don’t get the hint 😂.”
The comment section soon turned into a forum where women shared their exit strategies from the situations: from the polite to the downright bizarre. Majority of them emphasized using signs and body language as the first step of indication that they’re not interested. One described it this way, “purposely not smile much, won’t give much eye contact, not lean towards him, and I’ll even look for something or someone else to transfer my attention to.” The implication was very clear: don’t flirt back.
But if those signs simply stop working, a lot of women report the use of little white lies to accomplish their escape. One of the more common ones is claiming to have a boyfriend or husband with almost everyone agreeing on this tactic: “I tell him I have a boyfriend. I lie Grant. I LIE 🔥,” said one woman, with many applauding her. Another user reported a similar diversion, pulling out her phone and pretending to talk to someone.
Other comments went off into hilarious detours: “Ask em for some moneyyyy then they’ll go away lmfao.” Another classic option: “you say ‘OMG LOOK OVER THERE’ and when they turn their heads to look. . RUN 🏃♀️ 💨 😂.” One commenter detailed her evolving approach: “I used to lie and say that I was a lesbian until I realized that a lot of them actually like that 😂. Then I started saying I was a police officer and that seemed to do the trick 😂.”
Some, however, offered direct methodologies for principles of personal safety. Another one described a process at some length: “I would be polite but firm, like saying, ‘Thanks, but I’m not interested’…If he kept pressing, I’d be more direct…And if I ever felt uncomfortable or unsafe, I wouldn’t hesitate to walk away or get help from staff.” Someone else was distilled, simply saying, “[s]traight up say I’m not interested 😂.”
One comment illuminated a sordid reality, stating that the response usually “Depends on how threatened we feel. Some men don’t take kindly to rejection.” Somewhat witnessing the veracity of these words actually goes some way in explaining why so many shared strategies tend to lean toward defusing a situation rather than confronting it head-on. Another user shared a situation where she was forced to become more assertive after her body language was ignored: “Yes rudeness set in because he was crossing boundaries,” she said. “Some ppl need it said straight up. Love me or hate me for it, I’m unapologetically me.”
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Ellis’s simple question opened a window into the everyday calculations and safety measures women consider in social settings. The collective response is simultaneously humorous, frustrated, and pragmatically advised, with all respondents drawing from a common experience. The conversation shows that there may be different approaches, but there exists only one thing they all wish to accomplish: get the hell out, safely, when the interest is not there. Such an enormous amount of responses would almost justify putting forth the statement that this is a near-universal issue; hence, this discussion is both relatable and informative. This viral discussion is a perfect example of the type of content Grant Ellis often shares, and he has even teased an upcoming Q&A session on his social media.
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