Ella Hooper has spoken about some of the difficulties she faced at the height of her Killing Heidi fame and how she’s navigating life after a double family tragedy.
The noughties Australian track star appeared on the Outside In podcast for mental health charity Support Act and revealed she lost both of her parents in a matter of weeks.
“The last few years have been just kind of yeah, really huge for me in terms of shifting, letting go, grieving, changing,” she said.
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“I don’t really know how to put it in a neat little bow, because it’s still it’s still happening.”
In a further blow for the 42-year-old radio personality, she added that her “very long-term relationship” ended “not that long ago”.
The singer says there are times she doesn’t “want to do anything and I just want to sort of give up” in terms of “ambition and joy and laughter and stuff like that”.
“I guess I’ve been sadder than I’ve ever been, but I’ve also been learning how to love that person,” she said.
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Hooper, who was in the Victorian band along with brother Jesse Hooper, said she’s still dealing with the shock loss of their dad as they prepared to farewell their mother in 2022.
“My mum had a long cancer journey, my dad had a very sudden and shocking surprise cancer journey, and he actually ended up dying two weeks before my mum, even though we’d been preparing to say goodbye to my mum for a year or more,” Hooper said.
“So it’s just surreal. I still sort of feel like I’m swimming through a pretty surreal period in my life and waiting to feel normal again.
“And today I’m sort of realising that maybe that will never happen and how do I be okay in this new reality.”
The singer said these traumas have brought the old difficulties back up to the surface.
“There’s also a fair bit of shock that’s involved with success and with being exposed all the time and being young in an adult’s industry, in a man’s industry at the time too,” she said.
“So sometimes I feel like some of this change and shock has has stirred up … some of the slightly more traumatic aspects of the Killing Heidi experience too.”
Killing Heidi formed in 1996 in Violet Town before hitting the big time in 1999 with their debut track, Weir, when Hooper was just 16.
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Other hits including Mascara and I Am followed, as well as the album Reflector, leading the group to win four ARIA Awards over the years.
The band split in 2006 before a 2016 reunion, with Hooper juggling the band with her solo track and radio work.
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