NEED TO KNOW
- A woman complained about her friend of over 20 years giving her an evening-only wedding invite in a post on Mumsnet
- She argued that several of their mutual friends, who have the “same level of contact” with the bride, have received full-day invites
- “It makes me question whether to bother with this friendship as it seems a message is being sent, and my inclination is to just abandon it,” the woman said
A woman is in disbelief after receiving an evening-only invitation for her friend’s upcoming wedding.
The woman vented about her friend of over 20 years in a post on the UK-based online forum Mumsnet on Sunday, Aug. 17. Despite having been “very close” in school, she said they drifted slightly apart until they struck up a routine of regular contact and meet-ups.
The evening-only invite came as a “surprise” as several others in their friendship group, who she claims have the “same level of contact,” were invited for the full day. The woman added that she no longer lives locally, so she will have to travel around 2,000 miles to attend the nuptials.
“The wedding is taking place on her land, so it’s not like ‘numbers’ are really an issue, nor is budget,” the woman said of her friend.
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She confessed that the wedding invitation had made her reevaluate the friendship.
“It makes me question whether to bother with this friendship as it seems a message is being sent, and my inclination is to just abandon it,” she said.
The woman added in a follow-up comment that she sees her friend around “every 8 weeks or so” as she travels back and forth for work.
The post quickly gathered hundreds of comments, with the majority of people admitting they wouldn’t travel thousands of miles unless invited to the entire wedding.
“I’d decline the invitation. You’d still have the expense of a present, travel, hotel, new outfit, drinks, etc., but not see the wedding. Just RSVP you’re unfortunately unable to immediately attend,” one person commented.
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“Wow! You travel 4000 miles (round trip) every 8 weeks? And also, you make sure that you see her each time? That’s dedication. I think, under these circumstances, it’s a slap in the face not to be invited to the whole day. I wouldn’t go to the evening do and I’d phase out the friendship, in a non-showy way,” another said.
“I’m really sorry to hear about this OP (original poster),” a third wrote. “It is so disappointing when people’s behavior makes you realize that they don’t benefit your friendship as highly as you do.
“For what it’s worth, I would decline the evening-only invite but not drop the friendship,” they continued. “Going forward, I would meet up when I wanted to, rather than putting myself out to travel to her every 8 weeks. I would just massively scale back the effort.”
Someone else said, “If the timings work and you are in the country at the time of the wedding, then you could still go. Then after that, decide if you’re happy with the friendship being one-sided effort-wise.”
“Evening invites are people who make up the numbers. Don’t go,” another commenter added.
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