Relationships do not always end the way we want them to. Sometimes the love fades slowly. Other times it ends with explosive arguments. Either way, breakups are part of dating and unfortunately so is dealing with an ex who just cannot accept it is over.
When feelings linger, your ex might lash out, hold on tighter, or create unnecessary drama. And while it is tempting to go back and forth, the truth is that you control how much access they have to your peace.
Here is a detailed breakdown of how to navigate life when your ex refuses to let go.
1. Give It Time
Jumping into a new relationship immediately after a breakup might feel like payback or proof you have moved on, but it often backfires. Seeing you with someone new so soon can push an already hurt ex into overdrive, making them lash out, stalk, or spread negativity.
It is not about catering to their feelings but about giving yourself space to process what just happened. Think of it as a reset period. A few weeks of clarity can help you decide what you actually want next instead of rushing to fill a void.
Example: Instead of introducing your new partner to friends the same week you broke up, take time to focus on you. Heal, reflect, and let your ex adjust before moving into another public relationship.
2. Respect the New Relationship
One of the most common mistakes exes make is refusing to step aside. Hanging out with your ex’s family, commenting on their new partner’s posts, or showing up where you know they will be is not a flex, it is proof you are still emotionally tied.
A breakup means letting go of the title you once had in that person’s life. Whether you were the first love, the parent of their child, or the person their family adored, it does not give you lifetime rights.
Example: If you are still showing up at family barbecues or texting their new partner to throw shade, you are not moving on. Let them have their peace and go build yours.
3. Step Away from Social Media
Scrolling through your ex’s profile is one of the fastest ways to keep yourself stuck. It might feel harmless at first, but every picture, comment, or like can pull you back emotionally. Worse, sending your friends to check for you turns the breakup into a group project.
If you cannot resist the urge, the healthiest option is to unfollow, mute, or block them, at least temporarily. Protect your own healing before worrying about how you look.
Example: Instead of losing sleep over who liked their photo, delete the app for a while. Out of sight really can mean out of mind.
4. Do Not Flex on the New Boo
If you are the new partner dealing with an ex who has not let go, your role is to stay calm. Jumping into arguments or posting subliminal messages only adds fuel to the fire. Remember, it is not your battle.
At the same time, evaluate whether the relationship is worth the constant back and forth. If the ex is causing nonstop drama, make sure your partner is setting boundaries and being honest about their past.
Example: Instead of arguing with their ex online, talk to your partner privately. Ask what boundaries they have set and if they are doing their part to keep the drama away.
5. Stop Texting Just Because
One of the hardest parts of a breakup is cutting off communication. Those good morning and thinking about you texts may feel innocent, but they reopen wounds and give false hope. Unless you share children and need to communicate for co-parenting, it is best to stop texting altogether.
Example: If you feel the urge to text your ex, write your feelings in your notes app instead. That way, you express yourself without creating more chaos.
6. Keep It Real With Yourself
Breakups often feel like loss, but sometimes they are actually freedom. Instead of romanticizing the good moments, focus on why it ended. Did you argue all the time? Were your needs ignored? Was there a lack of respect?
Remember, you are not losing someone, you are gaining clarity.
Example: Make a list of reasons why the relationship was not working. Whenever you feel tempted to go back, read it as a reminder of what you do not want to repeat.
7. Protect Yourself From Lies
Lastly, be realistic. Not all drama comes from an ex who cannot move on. Sometimes it comes from a current partner who is not being fully honest.
Pay attention to red flags. If your partner is still entertaining their ex, keeping secrets, or hiding things, the issue is not just the ex, it is them. Protect your heart by demanding honesty.
Example: If their ex keeps popping up, ask your partner what boundaries they have set. If the answer feels vague or inconsistent, it is a sign you may need to rethink the relationship.
—
Dealing with an ex who will not let go is draining, but it does not have to control your life. The key is boundaries, self-control, and honesty both with yourself and with whoever you choose to date next. Your past does not define your future unless you let it.
Discover more from Baller Alert
Subscribe to get the new posts sent to your email.
About the Author
