Woman Breaks Up With Boyfriend After He Throws Her Surprise Birthday rave With His Family

A woman ended her 18-month relationship after her boyfriend threw a “surprise” rave for her and invited his family — despite being asked not to.

On Reddit, the 21-year-old explained that things between her and her boyfriend, 22, have been “mostly good, but he’s super close with his family like, they text in a group chat all day, every day, and he tells his mom everything about our relationship.”

In contrast, the poster is “introverted” and comes from a smaller family where “they don’t share every detail.” 

“I’ve told him multiple times that I need some boundaries, especially for special occasions. He always says he gets it, but then does stuff like this anyway,” she writes.

“For my 21st birthday last week, I was excited because it’s a milestone, and I don’t like big parties. I planned a quiet romantic dinner at this fancy Italian place I’ve been wanting to try forever just me and him,” the woman shares. 

The woman made the reservation herself and “explicitly” told her boyfriend she wanted the celebration to be “intimate” — “no surprises, no family, just us.”

He “promised” to respect her wishes, noting that he would “make it the best night ever.”

However, the woman was in for a surprise when she showed up at the restaurant and found her boyfriend there with his parents, two sisters, grandmother, and aunt and uncle. Without letting her know, he changed the reservation and invited his family. 

“I was shocked and honestly felt ambushed. I tried to play it cool at first, but inside I was panicking because I’m not great with crowds, and this was supposed to be my night,” the woman shares. 

Halfway through the dinner, she excused herself to go to the bathroom and texted her boyfriend that she “was upset” and “felt like he ignored [her] boundaries again.”

He responded saying it was “no big offer” and that his family loves her, so she “should be grateful.” After dinner, they argued in the car and he told her that she embarrassed him by not being “more enthusiastic.” His mom also texted her, saying she “hurt their feelings” by seeming “distant” at the dinner.

So, the next day, the woman ended their relationship. “I told him I can’t be with someone who doesn’t listen to my needs and steamrolls me with his family’s involvement.”

However, her immediately-ex-boyfriend has been “blowing up” her phone, saying she is “overreacting” about something that was meant to be a “sweet gesture.” His family also got involved, calling her a “drama queen.”

While some people in her life think she was “too harsh,” Redditors agreed with her decision.

“No you are not overreacting. Like it’s nice to be surprised like that but when you have explicitly told him and set a boundary, he should respect it, period. Moving forward you would not be able to trust him and that is important,” one person commented, noting that the day was supposed to be about her wishes, not his.

“Even if you hadn’t specifically requested that no family be included, it’s bizarre to me that someone would think bringing their whole family to their partner’s birthday dinner would be a fun surprise,” another person put bluntly.