Q. When my ex and I divorced last year, he insisted on a 50/50 parenting plan even though he never really had much interest in our little girls. If we had 50/50, I had to pay him child support because I earn more than him but if we ran guidelines with my having more time, he had to pay me. I agreed because it was the price for my freedom, and I figured there was a small chance he could become a better father if put to the test.
Over the last year, he started a new job and asks me to step in for him every afternoon after school. I have been willing to do so because I want to spend more time with them, but I work from home. At one point, I suggested he hire a babysitter. Instead, he suggested my mom watch them at my house on his days. She has been doing that for the last 6 months and I feed them dinner every night. Often the little one falls asleep before he arrives, so he just leaves them with me overnight.
I told him I was going to take him back to court since he doesn’t use his parenting time. He said that isn’t a big enough change and I will waste money and lose. Is he right?
A. Hopefully you have been keeping a journal or calendar of all of the dates you have stepped in and taken his parenting responsibilities – especially all the nights he left the girls with you. If not, do your best to recreate a timeline from your text messages / emails or other writings which show the history. If he has had you care for them at least half of his weekday time since the start of this school year, you should file a complaint for modification looking to change the parenting plan to reflect the actual time you each have and, as part of that, eliminate your child support.
Also, you mentioned he has a new job – do you know what his income is? It may be that you do not owe him any child support now if he is earning more and if that is the case, he may be willing to negotiate a parenting plan more reflective of reality. If you don’t make it about money, he is more likely to agree so if you run guidelines and it looks like he would owe you money, if you can afford not to take it, suggest he puts the money into college savings for your girls in lieu of paying you.
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