Hey, Emerson kids! Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time.

Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time.

There isn’t a more much basic lesson in life than that, is there?

But apparently, it’s one of the many things the snotty, entitled little snowflakes of Emerson College were never taught during their ultra-expensive vacations in the Back Bay.

As you know, this week a bunch of them decided to transition, as it were, from attending Judy Garland tribute festivals into Hitler Youth, eagerly promoting the anti-Semitic genocide of the Muslim savages of Hamas.

For days, they were, as always, coddled. They were permitted to block sidewalks around the Transportation Building.

Finally, even Mayor Wu had had enough, and they were rounded up — 118 arrests, with several Boston cops injured.

Check out the accompanying photos of the beta males and whatevers in the dock at the BMC. If Hollywood ever remakes “Animal House,” those kids can be extras in the fraternity-rush scene, when the Deltas put all the losers together in the back room.

Seriously, those Emerson geeks are all out of Central Casting, especially the kid in the mask. He’s an even bigger dink than the one in the Emerson sweatshirt. Was there a coed ever impressed by a guy who bragged that he went to Emerson?

But the students at Emerson are so utterly clueless about real life that as soon as the photos began appearing on the Herald website, this paper was deluged with hysterical orders to remove the pictures.

Here was one non-negotiable demand from Sophia:

“Having their faces published without their consent is a threat to their success and safety.”

Their success? You gotta be kidding. They go to Emerson, for God’s sake.

And their safety? What about the cops’ safety? One of them suffered a broken ankle, another needed seven stitches in his right hand.

Someone named Joseph said “I do not consent to having my likeness featured.”

I think he’s the guy with the nose ring, but I could be wrong. A lot of Emerson students have nose rings, but not as many as have purple or pink hair.

Then there was Sabrina Mangone. Her pronouns are “she/her/hers.”

She’s the casting director at the Musical Theatre (not theater) Society and even more impressive, the Literary Manager at Mercutio Troupe.

“One of my peers (one of who explicitly asked a photographer that the photo of him in court not be publicized) did not consent for their photograph in court to be used in this article — I’m writing to request that their faces be blurred out of the article if not removed entirely.”

Listen, kid, you don’t get to tell anyone what to do in a public place. Your “peer” was part of a mob of filthy hippies who were using bullhorns at 2 a.m. in an urban area, annoying law-abiding citizens who by the way work for a living, you know, like cops.

Here’s one from Alex: “This photo has been uploaded without consent by any of these students. This is an invasion of privacy and consent has not been honored.”

Listen, soy boy, if you’d been back in the dorm strumming on your ukulele and doing karaoke to Tiny Tim, you wouldn’t have gotten jammed up. You’d still be tiptoeing through the tulips.

When you get lugged, you forfeit your right to privacy. The state requires the consent of the governed, not the consent of the arrested, even if they are non-binary.

You would think some of these arrested snowflakes could grasp this simple concept. For instance, shouldn’t someone named Punchhi Pandit (for that is indeed his or her name) understand that if somebody punches a cop, all bets are off.

What will now become of 20-year-old “Liberty Ice” (for that is indeed his or her name)? I’m quite familiar with Natural Ice — it’s available at popular prices, as they used to say. But until now I knew nothing about Liberty Ice.

Two of those arrested have the first name of “Willow.” How Emerson is that? Willows, don’t weep for me, weep for thee. What will Mommy say?

The oldest arrestee appears to be one Noah Cohen, who just turned 57.

Cohen was born in 1967, a couple of months before the Arabs tried to destroy the Jews in the Six Day War, followed by one subsequent attempted Muslim genocide of the Zionist state after another, up to the present.

And yet all these years later, look whose side Noah Cohen was cheering on at 2 a.m. the other night outside the Transportation Building.

The second oldest juvenile delinquent: Lana Habash. She turns 56 in July.

Meanwhile, across the river at Harvard, the storied school still reels from its own Sprinkler War early Thursday.

It was like the Battle of Bunker Hill, only instead of Col. Prescott telling his troops, “Don’t shoot till you see the whites of their eyes,” this time it was the groundskeeper saying, “Don’t sprinkle till you see the whites of their eyes.

In the tradition of Crosby, Still, Nash & Young after Kent State, a new song is being written by local Cambridge man buns.

“This summer I hear the drummin’/ Four sprayed in Harvard Yard./ Gotta get down to it/ Trump voters are hosin’ us down/ Shoulda been done long ago.”

At Emerson, things will never be the same either. The thespians there all want to be stars, you know, but show biz has changed — many fewer opportunities. Word is, though, Hollywood is considering a remake of M*A*S*H.

That might provide a great opportunity for the Emerson students. But as you can see from their appearances in the BMC, there’s only role most of them would ever be interested in.

They all want to be Klinger.

Order Howie’s new book, “Paper Boy: Read All About It!” at howiecarrshow.com or amazon.com.